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Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Finally getting easier

So I have been struggling for quite a while to loose weight. I've always been pretty active (dance and cheer in high school). I gained a little weight after HS because I obvioulsy wasn't dancing as much or doing cheer anymore. I had never stepped into a gym before, so I then realized that I am not naturally skinny. Even then I started working out (pretty mildly too. Like 10 mins of cardio and some light weights, but that's it) and lost a LOT of weight. I mean, I was in the best shape. Fast forward to 2006ish. I start cosmetology school, stop working out due to not having any time to workout, and am still eating like crap like I always have. And at that point, I wasn't eating dinner until I got out of school at 10pm. Dinner consisted of stopping for fast food on the way home. Not good. I slowly gained weight. About 30lbs.

After that I started trying to loose weight. I realized I need to change my lifestyle completely. I needed to change the way I ate, especially. I hate working out and the gym is a complete chore to me. I hate it. I have struggeled for over 2 years trying to loose this weight. I lost maybe 10lbs, got off track for a couple months, gained that back and then some, then gained a little more. WTF? I have had my thyroid checked twice. All comes out normal. Last time they checked my iron as well for anemia. Normal. Again, WTF? Why can't I loose this weight? Why do I gain so easily? I am at the absolute heaviest I have ever been in my entire life, I have never been so insecure about the way I look, I am always tired, and I feel like crap. I'm fat.

I am pretty good about eating healthy (although I'm not perfect. I do fuck up sometimes), but the gym is my enemy. I hate it! I'm sorry but I have a low attention span and walking on the tredmill or doing the elyptical for 30-45 mins sucks. I get bored easily. Lately it's been getting a lot easier. I started working out with my friend Lisa twice a week, and I've started Tae Kwon Do at my dad's Martial Arts Academy. I find that since I don't have to drag myself to the gym as much, it's much better. I enjoy the Tae Kwon Do and it's a great workout. Lots of cardio. I don't know if I've lost anything because I have not been all that great about eating exactly right, but I have noticed that if I really slip up I feel like I need to get back on track ASAP when before I was like, "Oh well".

I need a kick in the butt with my eating though. I need to do something strict for a couple weeks then I'm good to go. I borrowed The South Beach Diet from Lisa, which I think I'm going to start next week. Seems pretty easy. The only hard part, no alcohol.

I can do it. I can do it!


Michelle said...

I feel the same way Ambie. I have no motivation to work out and I feel it's like a chore too. But I really need to lose this baby weight because I am so tired of not looking good in my clothes. I never completely lost it after any of my pregnancies... so I guess it's just a pattern I keep following. I want to do something too. I hardly eat out... but I am not sure if I can change my eating... it's so hard. I love the stuff I cook and it's usually chicken, pastas, rice, but I do eat tons of vegetables and salads! Hmmm... I really need to get a plan as well...

Good luck with the SBD. I hope you start seeing a change soon.

Lisa said...

You CAN do it Ambie!! And you know I am always here for you if you need any help/advice!!