Anxiety

Remember how I mentioned like 10 times that I had been sick? Guess what it is... Anxiety. And it sucks. All of my blood work has come back normal, and I've been paying close attention to what's happening when I get these "episodes". Which I'm now calling attacks. They're anxiety attacks. Instead of having a normal panic attack where I can't breathe, or crying, my body decides to just start throwing up.

I've been feeling really overwhelmed with life lately. Working full time, basically being a single mom, marital problems, trying to keep the house somewhat clean... it's too much. Social situations make it act up. Go out to dinner with the girls? Be prepared to be puking all night. It's like if I do anything out of the norm or out of my comfort zone I'll get sick. I will feel my anxiety level rising. My heart will start beating fast, and my mind is racing. I have to remove myself from the situation ASAP or else I know I will get sick. If I remove myself from the situation fast enough and take an anti-nausea pill then I will be fine.

I feel trapped. I want to be able to get out of the house and have some fun, but I'm scared to. Being away from Cailin for extended periods of time (other than work hours) makes me SUPER anxious. Sometimes it comes out of nowhere. I'm fine one minute, and the next I start to feel anxious and nauseas. Our fourth of July was ruined. We were at a friends house with all of our kids. I was fine, then I started feeling sick so we left. Didn't even watch fireworks. I was really looking forward to it too.

I've never dealt with this before. Never had a problem with anxiety. And now? Now I'm on meds. The GI doctor had me taking just a very small amount to calm my bowels. Then at my check up he had me start taking a whole pill instead of half. I was feeling better, but then my prescription ran out faster than my insurance would refill it (scrip is for half a pill dosage), so I went back down to half a pill. Now I'm having more frequent attacks again. I called the doctor to have him call in and change the script. I don't think he did cause I just got a refill and the dosage still says half a pill. I'll have to follow up with him. The GI doc said it's actually more common than you'd think for anxiety to have this kind of effect. The nerves in your bowels tighten up when you're nervous or anxious. Makes sense. I think I should go see a psychiatrist or something as well. I don't really know what to do. All I know is this sucks big time.

Wordless Wednesday

Thinking About 2nd Birthday

That's right. I'm already thinking about this girl's second birthday party! I want to get started early this year. Last year's princess theme was done last minute, and I was too tired to even put it all together once it got there, so I ended up saying screw it, and basically had no decor. Doesn't really matter either way, but it's fun to go all out!

This year I have been deciding between doing an Ugly Sweater Christmas theme(her b-day is mid December), or going Dora/Diego. I think I'm going to go with the Ugly Sweater X-mas theme. I figured this may be the last year I can do what I want. She'll have her own opinion soon I'm sure, and then I'll let her choose. Here's some fun idea's I've found (via pinterest of course):  By the way, can someone tell me how to get that pinterest button for my blog?

 Hot Chocolate Bar

Ugly sweater gingerbread men!

Paper

That's all I've got for now. I'm also thinking an ugly sweater decorating station would be fun. It's kind of hard finding Christmas themed ideas in July.



Weekend in Pics

 "graduated" swim lessons/ anchor pedi/ no (2nd) nap

Tons of fun at Chuckie Cheese for a birthday party. She had an absolute blast!



18 Month Stats

We made it to the doctor's (on the right day this time) Thursday. Here are her official 18 month stats:

Weight: 24lbs - 43%
Height: 32 inches - 66%

Other than that, she's right on track developmental wise. The doctor was impressed with her communication (she wanted to get up on that stool behind her and was saying "up". She was also signing "more" for more fruit pack snack things). She was also impressed with her ability to put words together! She confirmed that she is currently cutting all 4 canines, and her thumb sucking is messing up her teeth already. :( I see braces in my (her) future.

It's crazy to me how she's gone from the 75th percentile in height and weight to 43rd.

She was just SO not happy about being trapped in that room. She kept trying to escape. She got up on her tippy toes and was able to reach the door handle and open the door for an attempted escape, and boy was she pissed when I would close the door!