New Life, New Blog

Since I can't really call myself a carpenter's wife anymore, I thought it was time for a new blog. It's still under construction, but I want to post, so... check me out/follow me here:

http://theprincessandmommy.blogspot.com/

Putting It All Out There

So.... Where do I even start? The D word. Divorce. There, I said it. It's happening. Well, technically not yet, as nothing's been filed legally. We've been separated for almost a year now, and at this point are not getting back together. He's just not interested, and I'm over it. I'm to the point where I refuse to be second best, and will not be the only one trying. If he doesn't want me, then I guess I don't want him. At least that's what I'm telling myself, because truthfully, if he told me tomorrow that he wanted to come home, I'd take him with open arms. I still love him dearly, always will. He is a good person. I would even say we're friends. It's very amicable between us, and I am glad we can still hang out and be friends for Cailin's sake. She is the most important, and we both agree on that. Anyway, that's really it. There's no drama, we just grew apart, and he was not interested in trying to fix it. That's the only thing that kills me. We get along, like I said, we're friends. I know that deep down inside there is a spark that's waiting to be re-lit. If we just TRIED.... but again, that takes work on BOTH parties. So yeah. That's what's happening.

For the past year we've been trying to short sale our house. We listed it, got tons of offers, sent it to the lender, they took forever to approve it, they sent an appraiser out, appraisal came in WAY above what we had listed it for, all of our offers backed out. We finally have another offer, and have sent it into the bank, and again, are waiting for their response. I'm at the point where I'm pretty much done with dealing with this as well. If this offer falls through, I'm done. I'll let the bank have the house.

Good news is, I did find a new home! I will be renting. I did NOT want to have to live in an apartment. I hate apartment living, always have. I just wanted a little 2 bedroom/2 bathroom condo.It took a while, but I found one. Well, it's actually 3 bedrooms, which is cool. And it has a 1 car garage. It's in this quiet little community with pretty Pine Trees, so it has a non AZ feel to it, a little. It's older, and the kitchen is a bit ugly, but I'm used to small ugly kitchens I guess. haha! I'm moving in April, and I can't wait to have a little place to call my own. Just me and my girl. She's all I need.

 

Other changes happening? Cailin's starting a new daycare on Monday. My sister in law took a job, and I'm very happy for her. It's bittersweet. I'm excited for Cailin to be in a different setting, but sad because I know she loves her Aunt Jen and her cousins so much. But it's not like we won't ever see them again, I'm sure we'll see them often. I was just so lucky that Cai was able to be with family for such a long time. I am nervous for her, but I know she'll do great. My little social butterfly will have so many new friends by the end of her first day I'm sure. The other bonus? She's going to the daycare/preschool center at my work!! SO CONVENIENT! This will cut down on my drive to and from work tremendously. Right now it takes about an hour to leave the house, drop off, get to work, and same leaving. It'll be so awesome to get to go basically straight to and from work. Cute first day of "school" picture coming soon.

 

So... I'm going to have to rename this blog, as I won't be a carpenter's wife for much longer. Any suggestions?

Cailin's Favorite Songs

Cailin has definitely taken a liking to certain songs the past several months. I downloaded a couple songs for her. Problem is, she finds ones she really likes and DEMANDS to hear it over. and over. and over.

 

Her most recent favorites are that of the Fresh Beat Band. "Friend Like You" and "Bananas", and sometimes "Like A Rockstar".

 

 

Her first favs were these two. Yo Gabba Gabba's "Hold Still" and "Get the Sillies Out". Or what she calls "Get Wiggles out" and "Get Sillies Out". She would still be listening to these everyday if I let her, but I just couldn't take it anymore. Then she got to thte point where she wasn't sure if she wanted Sillies or Wiggles. So she'd ask for one "I want Sillies out, pease." I turn it on. "Noooooo! WIGGLES OUT!!!" So now I don't play either. But there were WEEKS where these two were on repeat constantly.

 

 

And last but not least, The Ting Ting's "Happy Birthday". We've heard it on YGG frequently, and I downloaded it to the iPod the week of her birthday. Instant new favorite. This was on repeat from then on. Every time we got into the car. I didn't mind it, cause it is pretty catchy, and it's the Ting Ting's and that's okay in my book!

WW: Sunday Snuggles

WW: BFF Hugs

This is my new favorite picture. It's so sweet!

It's Raining, It's Pouring!

We've had quite a bit of rain here the past few days. Unusual for the good ol, dry desert of Phoenix. But you know what? I freaking LOVE it. It's been a constant light rain, dark, overcast clouds, with some light fluffy clouds and light peeking though throughout the day, and it's been raining since Thursday night!  You know who else loves it? Cailin. She's all, "Yook! Wain! Sign wain, Momma." (((signs rain))). Every time the windshield wiper went across the window, she let out a little giggle.

I started this post a couple days ago while it was still gloriously rainy. Today, that stupid sun came out. Boo! We don't get much rain in the desert (duh), and being an Arizona native I love love love me some rainy days! And it's pretty slim that we get that many rainy days in a row!

 

Yesterday morning. I mean, that moon and clouds are fit to bring the werewolves out! Oooouuu!

 

Catching rain drops

Goodbye, Bubbers.

Yesterday I lost my first "baby". My Gizmo. I took yesterday off of work because my anxiety and stress level was just through the roof. I have been thinking about putting him down for the past month. He got better, then he got worse. Lost his eyesight, and then just got to the point where he just wouldn't move. He was miserable. He couldn't hold his bladder. He was losing his fight against the diabetes (and whatever else was going on inside him. He was definitely more sick than just diabetes). He just layed there. He would only get up to eat, drink or piss somewhere in the house. I physically had to pick him up and take him outside to go potty. I physically had to carry him to bed at night and up in the morning.

I looked at him yesterday, had a talk with the vet, and made the decision. It was time. He was not living a good quality of life, and he was just not responding well to the insulin. His glucose levels would go down a bit, but was still hundreds of points away from being where he should be. He was miserable. So I made one of the hardest decisions in  my life. I had to put him down. My heart is broken, he was my first  pet as an adult. He was my baby. Brian came with and was upset too. We got him together, before we were even married. I stayed with him and kissed him goodbye while they gave him the drug that would stop his heart. I kissed him as he took his last breath. It was heartbreaking. I cried of course, but I lost it when I got home and only had one dog to feed. One bowl. Then I felt guilty. Should I have faught harder? Was this some rash decision made out of anxiety? I miss him so much, but looking back at these pictures before he became sick and his last days, tells me that I did make the right decision.

 

 

Here's his recent pics. You can tell how sick he was.

WW: photo bombed by the dog

p.s. follow me on Instagram @zombiemomm :)

Instalately

Hello! Just checking in. We've been a bit busy lately, here's what we've been up to...

We played with water beads. OMG she LOVES them. Like, throw a tantrum when it's time to put them away love. They do hold her attention though, which is good. They get a bit messy when she starts squishing them, telling me, "Mommy, I make a cake."  

I got glasses for the first time in my life. Hallelujah I can see! I've always had pretty good sight, but the past few years I've noticed that I just can't see as we'll as I used to. Just one of the wonderful ways pregnancy ruins your entire body.Right down to the eyes.

We played at the park more. She's officially ditched the toddler playground and has moved onto the big kids side.

 

I screwed up her hair... So, she still hasn't had a real haircut, but I've been trimming her bangs for a while now. I give her a side bang since it naturally grows that way anyway. This time she moved just as I was cutting, and snip! Totally screwed them up! I still push and clip them to the side. I hope they grow back fast!

 

We played in leaves (outside of Trader Joes). That's the look of pure joy right there, folks. Makes me smile. It only takes until January for the leaves to fall here in good ol AZ. 

Testing 123

Hmmm... so I guess Blogger hasn't kicked me out for money... yet. My SIL mentioned she was having the same problem and it was because there's some sort of glitch w/Blogger and Explorer. I mean, I didn't get any notice that I was out of space, I just assumed. I posted this lovely picture of myself from my phone and it worked fine.

I'll Be Back

... In my best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice.

I hit the Blogger you've -run-out-of-picture-space-so-pay-us-now problem.

I'm figuring out how I want to proceed. It's not the money I'm worried about, it's the fact that I don't want to pay for something that's supposedly free. Lame. I'm weighing the pros and cons. We'll see.

Not cool, Blogger. Not cool.

Clingy

Dudes, lately my kid has been a stage 5 clinger! Always needing wanting to be held. Always tugging at me saying, "Mommy? I hold  you?" (which means I hold HER). For example, right at this very minute she is sitting in my lap, watching Dora while I play on the computer. She's even taken my hands a couple times and put them around her "this one. And this one."  I can't even take a crap without her on my lap (wish I was joking)! And heaven forbid I have to put her down to wipe my ass! If I don't pick her up, she'll be following me around, crying, "Moooommmy. I holdddd  youuuu. I hold you, me? Peeeeeeease?"

Not only does she want to be held, she also likes to snuggle. Same as asking me to hold her, it's "Mommy? I snuggle you?" she's gotten a bit better about that one, lately just asking "Snuggle me?".

I guess I don't mind that much. There will come a day where she won't want me to hold or snuggle her, she's already growing too fast.

In my lap on Christmas Eve, me making a stink face cause she wouldn't look at the camera. 

Gizmo

So, remember my dogs?  ------------>

Yeah, me niether. I still love them, but they haven't received as much as attention as they used to prior to me having a human baby.

My poor Gizmo, my first born, is in bad health. He has been for years. Really since we got Lily. I brushed it off as he's got doggy depression cause he can't compete with Lily. She's got 10 times more energy as him, is stronger than him. He doesn't have a chance when it comes to playing fetch. She'll beat him every time. Then he started getting fat. I didn't notice it right away, people would comment about his weight at the dog park. I would just say, "He's not fat, he just needs a haircut!" Then one day (after a grooming, I believe), I was like, "Damn, he is fat." The Groomers even call him "Tubby". :( So I fed him less, and the weight control food. I stopped feeding him human food. But along with the weight gain he was also very lethargic. He could BARELY even get around the block once. It was sad. I also noticed things like his once fluffy and soft fur was wirey and thin. He had dandruff, then he started getting these big scabs all over.

Then earlier this year he started having bladder problems. I noticed one day that he was peeing blood. Off to the vet we went. They took x-rays. He didn't have any kidney stones so that was good. They told me it was probably a UTI, gave us some antibiotics and after I emptied my savings, sent us on our way. I asked them about the other problems he was having (the weight issue, coat, scabs, etc), they shaved off the scabs and also gave me a spray. Told me they were probably wounds from scratching. I'm like, listen lady. He can't even reach his neck to scratch. I told them I thought he had a thyroid problem or something. To their defense I was supposed to come back the next day to take a urine and blood sample, but I didn't go back because, well, I couldn't afford to.

I didn't see any more blood in his urine, so thought that it was just a UTI after all. Then a few weeks later, he started peeing blood again. Then he starting losing control over his bladder completely. Having accident after accident in the house. I couldn't even get mad at him because I knew he wasn't doing it on purpose. Then I noticed that the pee was really sticky. Imagine making kool-aid and pouring it on the floor. Super sticky. My friend recommended me her vet who takes payments, so I took him in. They ran blood tests and as I thought, he was diagnosed with diabetes.

I started him on insulin that night. He really seemed to be getting better. He's losing weight, had more energy, was running, playing, and jumping. Then just within the last week, he went blind. They told me this would happen due to the cataracts. He's also started peeing again, and it's just so sad. He's bumping into walls, and can't find his way around. Can you imagine just going blind over night? I'm trying to help him with using my voice, and even putting my hand out and letting him smell and follow me. He's not doing well though. It makes me so sad. His overall health is deterierating again. We're going back to the vet in a few days. He's going to stay all day for glucose tests. I'm also going to have them run full blood work. He had some kind on infection going on the first time, but they weren't sure what. Possibly Valley Fever.

I've come to the conclusion that I don't think we have much more time with him. He's only six {human} years old people! So I'm going to spoil him and snuggle him as much as possible. Keep him in your thoughts that he gets better with this whole moving around blind thing. :(

Cataracts suck.

Christmas Wrap Up

Christmas started on Friday for us. We had Christmas with my mom and siblings at my house. I left a little early for work, and my mom came over to clean my house (that alone was worth it!). We had dinner and opened presents, and best of all, got to snuggle my new baby nephew.

Then Sunday my sister in law's sister in law (got that?) was in town, and we went to their church Christmas Service. And guess what? I did not burst into flames, nor did I sweat profusely. I actually really enjoyed it to be honest. What's not to like about live music, and Xmas music at that? Cailin loved it as well (she's just like her momma, a sucker for live music), and only got a little antsy towards the end. She did really well! Afterwards we went back to my SIL's house for dinner, smores and carolers. We didn't stay long enough for the carolers, it was getting late and Cailin started melting.

Monday I had to work, but only a half day. I woke up feeling like I was getting sick, but refused to admit it. After work I got a mani and pedi, came home and relaxed a bit since I felt like crap, and then we went to our annual Xmas Eve party  at Brian's Aunt's. We stayed later than we have in a few years. Opened presents and played Bingo. It was a great time.

 Getting sleepy.

 

 

Getting grumpy!

Then Tuesday (Christmas Day) we woke up early. And going to bed late plus waking up early the next day was not ok with Cailin. She was so grumpy. We checked to see what Santa had brought Cai, opened our presents here, and then were off to SIL's again to meet up with the in laws for breakfast and more presents.

 Santa brought Cailin a play kitchen!

 

 Told ya. Gump-a-lump!

 

After a big breakfast, and some time with the inlaws, we came home for a nap. We didn't have anywhere else to be until dinner time at my dad's, so we came home and relaxed for a bit. Cailin took a four hour nap! Over all we had a fantastic (and exhausting) Christmas! Between her bday and Christmas, Cailin now has more baby dolls and play food than we can handle. She loves her play kitchen, Baby Alive, and Peppa Pig dollhouse the best. I got a DVD player for the car, lots of gift cards, etc. It's funny, when you become a parent, you ask for things that are really for your kid, and you enjoy watching them get new things than getting presents yourself. I love seeing the excitement and joy in her face. Best present ever!

 

 

I hope everyone had a wonderfun Xmas and a happy and safe New Year as well. I'm now dealing with Strep Throat, and will have a laid back New Years, but that's okay, I prefer it that way (without being sick of course).

 

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas! We are so grateful for everything we have. :)

 

 

E-card courtesy of the Red Stamp app. Download it.

 

 

 

Not so Wordless Wednesday: More Birthday Fun

I took Friday and Monday off of work to spend with my birthday princess. We started the weekend out at the mall. "Uncle D" (my brother) sent us a Build A Bear gift card, so we started there. Then we went on the little merry go round, played in the play area, and even rode the mall train. Spoiled I tell ya!

 

Build A Bear! Of course we got the Boston Terrier. She saw it and said "Wee Wee" (this is how she says Lily), so I knew we had to get it.

 

Choo Choo! She was so cute. We've been on this once before. She asked the train driver, "Ticket, pease?" 

And then she woke up Sunday two. OMG. I swear, she woke up the day she turned two and has been terrible since! This pretty much sums it up. We woke up and went to breakfast. She was a brat there... Then we had told her that we were going to play at a bouncy house. She kept asking for a bouncy castle, she was so excited. We went to Jumpstreet and she was not having it! She didn't want to jump on the trampolines, okay I get that. It could be a  bit scary, but she loves bouncy houses. Yet she would NOT go in! Grrrr. So we left.

We went home and opened presents from Mommy and Daddy. Her favorite is this Peppa Pig dollhouse. She loves it, go me!

Monday we ran some errands and played with her new toys.

Running around the house in her tent. Silly goose!