New Life, New Blog

Since I can't really call myself a carpenter's wife anymore, I thought it was time for a new blog. It's still under construction, but I want to post, so... check me out/follow me here:

http://theprincessandmommy.blogspot.com/

Putting It All Out There

So.... Where do I even start? The D word. Divorce. There, I said it. It's happening. Well, technically not yet, as nothing's been filed legally. We've been separated for almost a year now, and at this point are not getting back together. He's just not interested, and I'm over it. I'm to the point where I refuse to be second best, and will not be the only one trying. If he doesn't want me, then I guess I don't want him. At least that's what I'm telling myself, because truthfully, if he told me tomorrow that he wanted to come home, I'd take him with open arms. I still love him dearly, always will. He is a good person. I would even say we're friends. It's very amicable between us, and I am glad we can still hang out and be friends for Cailin's sake. She is the most important, and we both agree on that. Anyway, that's really it. There's no drama, we just grew apart, and he was not interested in trying to fix it. That's the only thing that kills me. We get along, like I said, we're friends. I know that deep down inside there is a spark that's waiting to be re-lit. If we just TRIED.... but again, that takes work on BOTH parties. So yeah. That's what's happening.

For the past year we've been trying to short sale our house. We listed it, got tons of offers, sent it to the lender, they took forever to approve it, they sent an appraiser out, appraisal came in WAY above what we had listed it for, all of our offers backed out. We finally have another offer, and have sent it into the bank, and again, are waiting for their response. I'm at the point where I'm pretty much done with dealing with this as well. If this offer falls through, I'm done. I'll let the bank have the house.

Good news is, I did find a new home! I will be renting. I did NOT want to have to live in an apartment. I hate apartment living, always have. I just wanted a little 2 bedroom/2 bathroom condo.It took a while, but I found one. Well, it's actually 3 bedrooms, which is cool. And it has a 1 car garage. It's in this quiet little community with pretty Pine Trees, so it has a non AZ feel to it, a little. It's older, and the kitchen is a bit ugly, but I'm used to small ugly kitchens I guess. haha! I'm moving in April, and I can't wait to have a little place to call my own. Just me and my girl. She's all I need.

 

Other changes happening? Cailin's starting a new daycare on Monday. My sister in law took a job, and I'm very happy for her. It's bittersweet. I'm excited for Cailin to be in a different setting, but sad because I know she loves her Aunt Jen and her cousins so much. But it's not like we won't ever see them again, I'm sure we'll see them often. I was just so lucky that Cai was able to be with family for such a long time. I am nervous for her, but I know she'll do great. My little social butterfly will have so many new friends by the end of her first day I'm sure. The other bonus? She's going to the daycare/preschool center at my work!! SO CONVENIENT! This will cut down on my drive to and from work tremendously. Right now it takes about an hour to leave the house, drop off, get to work, and same leaving. It'll be so awesome to get to go basically straight to and from work. Cute first day of "school" picture coming soon.

 

So... I'm going to have to rename this blog, as I won't be a carpenter's wife for much longer. Any suggestions?

Cailin's Favorite Songs

Cailin has definitely taken a liking to certain songs the past several months. I downloaded a couple songs for her. Problem is, she finds ones she really likes and DEMANDS to hear it over. and over. and over.

 

Her most recent favorites are that of the Fresh Beat Band. "Friend Like You" and "Bananas", and sometimes "Like A Rockstar".

 

 

Her first favs were these two. Yo Gabba Gabba's "Hold Still" and "Get the Sillies Out". Or what she calls "Get Wiggles out" and "Get Sillies Out". She would still be listening to these everyday if I let her, but I just couldn't take it anymore. Then she got to thte point where she wasn't sure if she wanted Sillies or Wiggles. So she'd ask for one "I want Sillies out, pease." I turn it on. "Noooooo! WIGGLES OUT!!!" So now I don't play either. But there were WEEKS where these two were on repeat constantly.

 

 

And last but not least, The Ting Ting's "Happy Birthday". We've heard it on YGG frequently, and I downloaded it to the iPod the week of her birthday. Instant new favorite. This was on repeat from then on. Every time we got into the car. I didn't mind it, cause it is pretty catchy, and it's the Ting Ting's and that's okay in my book!

WW: Sunday Snuggles

WW: BFF Hugs

This is my new favorite picture. It's so sweet!

It's Raining, It's Pouring!

We've had quite a bit of rain here the past few days. Unusual for the good ol, dry desert of Phoenix. But you know what? I freaking LOVE it. It's been a constant light rain, dark, overcast clouds, with some light fluffy clouds and light peeking though throughout the day, and it's been raining since Thursday night!  You know who else loves it? Cailin. She's all, "Yook! Wain! Sign wain, Momma." (((signs rain))). Every time the windshield wiper went across the window, she let out a little giggle.

I started this post a couple days ago while it was still gloriously rainy. Today, that stupid sun came out. Boo! We don't get much rain in the desert (duh), and being an Arizona native I love love love me some rainy days! And it's pretty slim that we get that many rainy days in a row!

 

Yesterday morning. I mean, that moon and clouds are fit to bring the werewolves out! Oooouuu!

 

Catching rain drops

Goodbye, Bubbers.

Yesterday I lost my first "baby". My Gizmo. I took yesterday off of work because my anxiety and stress level was just through the roof. I have been thinking about putting him down for the past month. He got better, then he got worse. Lost his eyesight, and then just got to the point where he just wouldn't move. He was miserable. He couldn't hold his bladder. He was losing his fight against the diabetes (and whatever else was going on inside him. He was definitely more sick than just diabetes). He just layed there. He would only get up to eat, drink or piss somewhere in the house. I physically had to pick him up and take him outside to go potty. I physically had to carry him to bed at night and up in the morning.

I looked at him yesterday, had a talk with the vet, and made the decision. It was time. He was not living a good quality of life, and he was just not responding well to the insulin. His glucose levels would go down a bit, but was still hundreds of points away from being where he should be. He was miserable. So I made one of the hardest decisions in  my life. I had to put him down. My heart is broken, he was my first  pet as an adult. He was my baby. Brian came with and was upset too. We got him together, before we were even married. I stayed with him and kissed him goodbye while they gave him the drug that would stop his heart. I kissed him as he took his last breath. It was heartbreaking. I cried of course, but I lost it when I got home and only had one dog to feed. One bowl. Then I felt guilty. Should I have faught harder? Was this some rash decision made out of anxiety? I miss him so much, but looking back at these pictures before he became sick and his last days, tells me that I did make the right decision.

 

 

Here's his recent pics. You can tell how sick he was.