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Wednesday, September 12, 2012

A Day in the Life (of a Newly Single Mom)

I've seen these posts going around on the blogs I frequent, and I find them interesting. So, I thought I'd do my own. :)

So here's a day in my life.

5:50 AM(but I trick myself into thinking it's 6AM by setting that clock 10 minutes fast): Alarm goes off. I curse the morning and hit snooze. Way too many times I might add.

6:30 AM: Shit, time to drag my ass out of bed. I flip over on my back and try my hardest to open my eyes. Lily jumps out of bed and starts running around, the cat is meowing for food and won't stop until she gets it. Lily jumps back onto the bed and attacks my face and I shove her off. I wish I had that much energy in the morning. I wish I had that much energy ever! I get up, feed the stupid cat, and let Lily outside to go potty. I tip toe to the bathroom, closing Cailin's door as I pass. I'll let her sleep until I'm ready. I wash my face/brush my teeth. Lily is ready to come back inside as soon as I get there and starts barking, yelping and howling at the back door. I let her in on my way back to my room, and of course now Gizmo decides he needs to go out. Heaven forbid they go out at the same time. I start getting ready for work. Flat iron my hair and put on just enough makeup to not look like total hell. Usually it's just foundation, blush and mascara. Sometimes some liquid liner on top.

7:00 AM. Running late as usual. I tell myself I HAVE to get up earlier. It never happens, though. I make Cailin some milk, she's usually just woke up at this time, and is calling for me. I go in, sing her my little good morning song, pick her up and love and kiss on her, and ask her if she slept well. She drinks her milk while I change her diaper and pick out an outfit for her. Then I get her dressed and brush her teeth.



7:05ish AM: Running late!! We feed the dogs on the way out and I grab a cereal bar for Cai to snack on on our way to Auntie Jen's( she has breakfast there).

7:30AM: Arrive at Auntie's, usually spend too much time chatting with her and the girls, Cailin cries as I leave (unless she's busy with something else). I give into her a few times and hold back from leaving and pick her up, but I have to go cause now I'm really late.

8:00AM: Arrive at work. Stop by the cafeteria and grab something for breakfast and some water. Around 9:00 I go to Starbucks (yes, we have a full service Starbucks INSIDE the building. It's awesome. And expensive). Next I work work work! Fun stuff.

Noonish: Lunch time. Some days I just go to the Cafeteria and grab food, relax and read my book, and some days I work out (yes we have a full GYM in the building too). My lunch is only 35 minutes and our breaks are 20 minutes, but my boss lets me combine a break and my lunch to work out. I only have 55 minutes to get to the gym, get dressed into workout clothes, I usually just get 20-30 minutes of cardio in by the time I have to get dressed again and grab something to eat and get back to work.

1:00 - 4:30PM: Work work work. Blah blah blah. Process loans. Good times. I get pictures from my SIL of my sweet girl having fun throughout the day, which I love.



4:30PM: Time to go! I get into the "scrum" as my coworker likes to call it, of everyone that leaves at the same time. There's traffic of people, then cars coming out of the parking garage and out of the gates.

5:00:PM: Pick up Cailin. She's always so excited to see me. "Mama's here!" she exclaims! I pick her up and smother her in kisses. She immediately wants down and to try to climb the stairs that are blocked off all day. We struggle and she gets whiney so we say goodbye.

5:30PM: We're finally home! I turn on Dora while I cook dinner. Give her a little bit of a snack cause she's getting hungry and grumpy. Dinner consists of a lot of help on frozen stuff from Trader Joe's lately. Pasta, Teryaki Chicken and brown rice, turkey meatballs with whole wheat spaghetti. I hardly ever cook full meals these days. I don't have the energy, plus it's hard cooking for just me and Cailin. Sometimes she just has TJ's frozen mac and cheese w/some veggis, and I just end up eating frozen grapes for dinner. Today was a mac n' cheese kind of night.



6:30ish PM: I finally sit down for the first time. Cailin plays and watches TV while I play on the computer a bit. Check Facebook, blogs, Pinterest. It doesn't last long because she comes over with a book telling me "Book. Read." So we read just about all of her books. Either that, or she sits on my lap while I am on the computer. This doesn't last long because she starts pressing keys on the keyboard. She just can't help herself! I close the laptop and she gets mad. We read more books or play with puzzles for a bit.



7PM: We take a bath. Yes, WE. I can't tell you the last time I took a shower alone. She plays in bath for a bit. Once she's just about done, I drain the tub and turn the shower on and get in there. At this point she's over it and wants out, so I hurry. We get out, she gets her lotion and jammies on then it's my turn. Our master bathroom is not functional, so there's just no way I can shower when she goes to sleep seeing that her bedroom is connected to the bathroom. I almost can't wait to move out of this house just to have my very own master bath! After bathing she has her  milk,  we play and read more, then brush our teeth.



8PM: This USED to be her bed time. Not anymore! Little stinker has decided she doesn't need to go to bed until 9 these days. I've tried everything. Even letting her just cry. No luck. If I put her down at 8, she'll be up crying until 10 freaking 30. So what we do is snuggle. We turn on Peppa Pig, turn off the lights and snuggle up on the couch. I get her down at about 8:45ish, sometimes if I'm extremely lucky I can get her down at 8:30, but it's rare. Still she throws a fit. Every single night. She begs me for "more Pig." Fights it tooth and nail, but I tell her she needs to go ni-night. She'll yell at me for about 10 minutes before falling asleep.

9PM: Bed time for Mama! I lay down in my bed and watch TV or play online for a bit. I force myself to turn everything off at 10PM and GO TO SLEEP!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

20 Months

It's really hard to do these monthly now, even though I feel a bit guilty. But to be honest, it's impossible to get this toddler to pose for a picture plus she's changing so much it's hard to keep up! So I figured every couple months would be sufficient. So this is what she's been up to in the past 2 months:

Talking more and more each day. She's really starting to perfect words. Really pronounces the letters at the end of words. For example, booK, milK, wanT, all doNe, goNE, etc. She continues to amaze me with putting words together and forming short sentances. "I want ____ (milk, B, eat, play etc)" or "I yike(like) ____(fill in the blank again). She'll tell me things like where her B (B=Blankie) is. "B in woom(room)."


Introducing... B


Speaking of "B", she knows exactly where that thing is at all times. Some most mornings, I can't pry it from her little hands, so I let her take it with us in the car, and then we leave it in the car when we get to Auntie Jen's. She's getting better at understanding what I tell her. Like, I'll tell her "we have to leave B here now, okay?" and she'll say, "okaaay", and put it in the little car organizer I have next to her car seat (this is where I leave it each day, so she's learned that that's where it goes). And then as soon as I pick her up in the evening, she's excited to see me for 2 seconds, excitedly says, "Mama's here!" runs and give me hugs and kisses and almost immediately says, "B! I want B!" and then says bye bye to everyone, cause she knows B is in the car waiting for her. On the days that I can pry it out of her hand and leave it at home, makes for a long whiney car ride home. Telling me she wants B over and over. "B at home", she says.

We've been working on numbers and colors lately. She's doing great with numbers! She sort of even counted to ten! It went something like this, "One, two, fwee, fouwa, five..... eight, nine, ten!" and then she starts clapping and saying "yay!" when she's done. So proud of herself! I'm proud of her too! Colors we're having a bit of trouble with. I'm starting to wonder if she's color blind cause everything is blue. Or she'll just start saying names of colors even if it's not right. She's starting to get it though. Green, and purple and pink are starting to click in her little mind.


She can point out all of her body parts (and... um... she might just think her lady bits are called a butt), She's perfected most animals, and animal sounds.She calls our dogs, Lily and Gizmo, Wee Wee and Neeno. It's so cute!

I'm starting to let her help out with some "chores". Trying to teach her how to put things back in their places, letting her feed one of the dogs, and letting her help push the Swiffer around.

Helping Mommy make "cancakes". 

She loves her B(obviously), reading and pointing out objects in books, Watching TV (her favorites are Yo Gabba Gabba still, Dora, Diego, Fresh Beat Band and Peppa Pig), slides, climbing, playing "Doda games" on the computer, buckling buckles, rides (like a small merry-go-round at the mall), bossing people and animals around telling them to "stop it!" or "no, no Wee Wee!" or "Neeno, eat!",  Walking (she's getting really good at holding my hand as we walk into a store and not letting go and running from me. Every time we arrive at a destination she tells me "Walk. I walk."),  baths, and dancing. She'll spin around and try to mimick the "Great Day" dance at the end of each FBB episode. It's pretty much the cutest thing EVER.

Concentrating on Legos. I just LOVE watching her little mind work!

She hates: going to bed at night,  not getting her way, having her B taken away, when I don't let her walk, or if I did let her walk, but she starts being naughty and not following the number 1 rule of holding Mommy's hand and I pick her up, all hell breaks loose. Screaming, crying, kicking oh my!

I'm sure there's much more that I'm missing, but this post is getting pretty long. Maybe I SHOULD do this every month! haha!



Tuesday, August 7, 2012

My Baby Was Bullied

So, let me start off by saying that I think this bullying thing is getting out of hand. Not everything is bullying. These days a kid runs by another kid and accidently knocks him down. Bam, you're a bully. There's a difference between being rude, teasing and bullying.

Anyway, now that I'm off my soapbox, let me tell you about how Cailin was totally picked on this weekend. So we went to this super awesome, totally fun place called Playgrounds Fun Zone & Cafe. This is an indoor playground with a cafe! We loved it and are planning on going back very soon. They have a Toddler area, and the rules say that you have to be 42(if I remember correctly) inches tall or smaller to play in that area. I totally get that bigger kids will wonder in there, and it doesn't bother me. It also doesn't really bother me when older kids run passed and knock down younger kids on accident. It's gonna happen. They don't pay attention, that's fine..

There was this little girl, I'm guessing she was about 5. She was at LEAST five. She came into the toddler area and passed Cai going up the steps, and into the tube. Then she turns around and goes, "nah nah nah nah nah nah!" I was like, wow that kid's a brat, but whatever. Then she came back around. At this time Cai was crawling through the tube. She straight up kicked her the whole way through, saying "move! Go! Hurry!" and then proceeded to kick her down the slide. Of course her mother is nowhere to be found, so I tell her straight up, "You need to play nicely." She ran away after that. But she came back, and every time she passed Cai she would PURPOSELY knock her down, or run into her. Cai wondered off to the big kid side and I followed to make sure she was safe (cause I know that she really shouldn't be playing on the big kid slides. I also may be a tad bit overprotective). This girl saw Cai and followed her. Went down the big slide after her and PURPOSELY ran into her. Now her mom was actually paying attention at this point (because she was sitting right there) and repeatedly told her to wait for my daughter to get off the slide before going, but she didn't listen. And she actually got in trouble for that. A while later Cailin ran off to the big kid side again, and I followed. This girl was coming down as Cai started to go up. Sat down and just started peeing. All over the place. I was stunned. Like this was not an accident, and she was definitely old enough to know better. She just sat down and completely emptied her bladder. When she was done, she sat there for a minute then started wailing. I had immediately picked up my kid and went and told my friend that this girl just pissed everywhere, and she went and told the staff. This little girl just sat there for like 5 minutes screaming and crying until her mom finally realized she was crying (How did she not hear? I can hear my kid crying from a mile away it seems. Yes, I'm judging) and went over there. I believe they left after that, thank goodness.

This is so me!
I kind of feel bad for this little girl. She must have something going on at home to be acting like that. She was pretty overweight too, so maybe she gets picked on a lot for that, and picks on kids smaller to make herself feel better? Or maybe she's just a spoiled brat. I don't know. It was honestly more than kids just being kids. It really was bullying. And my baby? Never shed a tear! My girl is a trooper (and used to getting knocked around by her cousins ;) ).

I mean, how could anyone ever be mean to this face?

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Anxiety

Remember how I mentioned like 10 times that I had been sick? Guess what it is... Anxiety. And it sucks. All of my blood work has come back normal, and I've been paying close attention to what's happening when I get these "episodes". Which I'm now calling attacks. They're anxiety attacks. Instead of having a normal panic attack where I can't breathe, or crying, my body decides to just start throwing up.

I've been feeling really overwhelmed with life lately. Working full time, basically being a single mom, marital problems, trying to keep the house somewhat clean... it's too much. Social situations make it act up. Go out to dinner with the girls? Be prepared to be puking all night. It's like if I do anything out of the norm or out of my comfort zone I'll get sick. I will feel my anxiety level rising. My heart will start beating fast, and my mind is racing. I have to remove myself from the situation ASAP or else I know I will get sick. If I remove myself from the situation fast enough and take an anti-nausea pill then I will be fine.

I feel trapped. I want to be able to get out of the house and have some fun, but I'm scared to. Being away from Cailin for extended periods of time (other than work hours) makes me SUPER anxious. Sometimes it comes out of nowhere. I'm fine one minute, and the next I start to feel anxious and nauseas. Our fourth of July was ruined. We were at a friends house with all of our kids. I was fine, then I started feeling sick so we left. Didn't even watch fireworks. I was really looking forward to it too.

I've never dealt with this before. Never had a problem with anxiety. And now? Now I'm on meds. The GI doctor had me taking just a very small amount to calm my bowels. Then at my check up he had me start taking a whole pill instead of half. I was feeling better, but then my prescription ran out faster than my insurance would refill it (scrip is for half a pill dosage), so I went back down to half a pill. Now I'm having more frequent attacks again. I called the doctor to have him call in and change the script. I don't think he did cause I just got a refill and the dosage still says half a pill. I'll have to follow up with him. The GI doc said it's actually more common than you'd think for anxiety to have this kind of effect. The nerves in your bowels tighten up when you're nervous or anxious. Makes sense. I think I should go see a psychiatrist or something as well. I don't really know what to do. All I know is this sucks big time.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Thinking About 2nd Birthday

That's right. I'm already thinking about this girl's second birthday party! I want to get started early this year. Last year's princess theme was done last minute, and I was too tired to even put it all together once it got there, so I ended up saying screw it, and basically had no decor. Doesn't really matter either way, but it's fun to go all out!

This year I have been deciding between doing an Ugly Sweater Christmas theme(her b-day is mid December), or going Dora/Diego. I think I'm going to go with the Ugly Sweater X-mas theme. I figured this may be the last year I can do what I want. She'll have her own opinion soon I'm sure, and then I'll let her choose. Here's some fun idea's I've found (via pinterest of course):  By the way, can someone tell me how to get that pinterest button for my blog?

 Hot Chocolate Bar



Ugly sweater gingerbread men!



Paper


That's all I've got for now. I'm also thinking an ugly sweater decorating station would be fun. It's kind of hard finding Christmas themed ideas in July.