Remember how I mentioned like 10 times that I had been sick? Guess what it is... Anxiety. And it sucks. All of my blood work has come back normal, and I've been paying close attention to what's happening when I get these "episodes". Which I'm now calling attacks. They're anxiety attacks. Instead of having a normal panic attack where I can't breathe, or crying, my body decides to just start throwing up.
I've been feeling really overwhelmed with life lately. Working full time, basically being a single mom, marital problems, trying to keep the house somewhat clean... it's too much. Social situations make it act up. Go out to dinner with the girls? Be prepared to be puking all night. It's like if I do anything out of the norm or out of my comfort zone I'll get sick. I will feel my anxiety level rising. My heart will start beating fast, and my mind is racing. I have to remove myself from the situation ASAP or else I know I will get sick. If I remove myself from the situation fast enough and take an anti-nausea pill then I will be fine.
I feel trapped. I want to be able to get out of the house and have some fun, but I'm scared to. Being away from Cailin for extended periods of time (other than work hours) makes me SUPER anxious. Sometimes it comes out of nowhere. I'm fine one minute, and the next I start to feel anxious and nauseas. Our fourth of July was ruined. We were at a friends house with all of our kids. I was fine, then I started feeling sick so we left. Didn't even watch fireworks. I was really looking forward to it too.
I've never dealt with this before. Never had a problem with anxiety. And now? Now I'm on meds. The GI doctor had me taking just a very small amount to calm my bowels. Then at my check up he had me start taking a whole pill instead of half. I was feeling better, but then my prescription ran out faster than my insurance would refill it (scrip is for half a pill dosage), so I went back down to half a pill. Now I'm having more frequent attacks again. I called the doctor to have him call in and change the script. I don't think he did cause I just got a refill and the dosage still says half a pill. I'll have to follow up with him. The GI doc said it's actually more common than you'd think for anxiety to have this kind of effect. The nerves in your bowels tighten up when you're nervous or anxious. Makes sense. I think I should go see a psychiatrist or something as well. I don't really know what to do. All I know is this sucks big time.
Baby
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Thinking About 2nd Birthday
That's right. I'm already thinking about this girl's second birthday party! I want to get started early this year. Last year's princess theme was done last minute, and I was too tired to even put it all together once it got there, so I ended up saying screw it, and basically had no decor. Doesn't really matter either way, but it's fun to go all out!
This year I have been deciding between doing an Ugly Sweater Christmas theme(her b-day is mid December), or going Dora/Diego. I think I'm going to go with the Ugly Sweater X-mas theme. I figured this may be the last year I can do what I want. She'll have her own opinion soon I'm sure, and then I'll let her choose. Here's some fun idea's I've found (via pinterest of course): By the way, can someone tell me how to get that pinterest button for my blog?
This year I have been deciding between doing an Ugly Sweater Christmas theme(her b-day is mid December), or going Dora/Diego. I think I'm going to go with the Ugly Sweater X-mas theme. I figured this may be the last year I can do what I want. She'll have her own opinion soon I'm sure, and then I'll let her choose. Here's some fun idea's I've found (via pinterest of course): By the way, can someone tell me how to get that pinterest button for my blog?
Hot Chocolate Bar
Ugly sweater gingerbread men!
Paper
That's all I've got for now. I'm also thinking an ugly sweater decorating station would be fun. It's kind of hard finding Christmas themed ideas in July.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Weekend in Pics
"graduated" swim lessons/ anchor pedi/ no (2nd) nap
Tons of fun at Chuckie Cheese for a birthday party. She had an absolute blast!
18 Month Stats
We made it to the doctor's (on the right day this time) Thursday. Here are her official 18 month stats:
Weight: 24lbs - 43%
Height: 32 inches - 66%
Other than that, she's right on track developmental wise. The doctor was impressed with her communication (she wanted to get up on that stool behind her and was saying "up". She was also signing "more" for more fruit pack snack things). She was also impressed with her ability to put words together! She confirmed that she is currently cutting all 4 canines, and her thumb sucking is messing up her teeth already. :( I see braces in my (her) future.
It's crazy to me how she's gone from the 75th percentile in height and weight to 43rd.
She was just SO not happy about being trapped in that room. She kept trying to escape. She got up on her tippy toes and was able to reach the door handle and open the door for an attempted escape, and boy was she pissed when I would close the door!
Weight: 24lbs - 43%
Height: 32 inches - 66%
Other than that, she's right on track developmental wise. The doctor was impressed with her communication (she wanted to get up on that stool behind her and was saying "up". She was also signing "more" for more fruit pack snack things). She was also impressed with her ability to put words together! She confirmed that she is currently cutting all 4 canines, and her thumb sucking is messing up her teeth already. :( I see braces in my (her) future.
It's crazy to me how she's gone from the 75th percentile in height and weight to 43rd.
She was just SO not happy about being trapped in that room. She kept trying to escape. She got up on her tippy toes and was able to reach the door handle and open the door for an attempted escape, and boy was she pissed when I would close the door!
Sunday, June 24, 2012
18 Months - Happy Half Birthday!
Saturday Cailin turned one and a half. That means in six short months my girl will be TWO people! Wow! I should start the party planning now.
Communication
I love that she's learning to communicate with me. She'll tell me what she wants and sometimes what's wrong. She's doing really good at putting words together!For example the other day she knocked her mouth with the sippy cup (then did it again on purpose), then tells me, "Uh oh, Mommy. da boo da da owie wah wah", which in toddler language means "Ow, Mom. I just busted my lip with this here cup of water." She's saying uh oh a LOT. That's her thing right now. She loves to say, "uh oh, what'd ya do?" which sounds like, "uh oh duh duh doooo?" or sometimes just "uh oh doooo?" She also says "all gone" a lot.And most recently she's asking "what's that"? She tells me what she wants to watch on TV. She'll hand me the remote and be like, Gab Gab (Yo Gabba Gabba), Diego, or she'll sing ba-by, ba-by (for Baby Signing Time).
Eating
She's getting picky! Gone are the days where I can stick anything in front of her and she'll clear her plate. She does NOT like meat. My little vegetarian! Seriously, she will eat all the fruits and vegis from her plate, and feed the meat to the dogs. If she accidently gets meat in her mouth, it will be spit out. Grrr. So she's getting her protein in greek yogurt, beans and cheese. I think this whole no meat thing is making her poop icky. She's been having these big yucky loose poops for a couple months now, and they give her the worst rashes. We'll be talking to the pedi about this. One of her favorite things to snack on are these pouches.
She's down to two sippies of milk a day. She dropped her daytime "bottle", and only has one first thing in the morning and before bed. Approximately 5oz each. She's also getting less picky about what she drinks it out of. Still won't drink it from a straw sippy. Don't blame her. Milk from a straw does not sound good.
Clothing
She's in 18 month clothing still, and growing out of her size 4 shoes. Still in size 4 diapers. Don't have official stats yet. Her appointment is on the 28th. Not the 18th, apparently. I took half that day off work, drove all the way out to Surprise, just to get there and told I'm on the wrong day. And the doctor couldn't get me in. True story.
Sleep
She hasn't been sleeping great lately. Once she's out she's good for the night, but it's been a fight to get her to go to bed the past couple weeks. It goes a little something like this.
* Bedtime routine of dinner, bath, milk, brush teeth, read/watch TV/snuggle.
* 8PM. Bed time. Lay her down.
* She throws a fit. Screams and cries. I try my best to ignore her.
* She gets quiet, so I'm like, yesss! Then I hear Violet talking, so she plays with that for like an hour.
* 9PM she starts crying and screaming again. I go in to check on her and she has thrown her blankie over onto the floor. I give it to her and lay her down, and tell her that we are NOT playing this game and she is to go to sleep. She immediately starts screaming again.
* And this whole throw my blankie and freak out about it thing continues until I give up. I'll go get her and we'll watch TV for a half an hour.
* By this time it's 10PM, and I'm frustrated. She's finally tired enough where she goes to sleep without much of a fight.
I don't know what her deal is. Too busy to sleep? I honestly think she's stressed. There's a lot going on at home right now. The biggest thing being that Husband and I aren't doing very well. I'll just put it out there since mostly everyone who reads this blog knows me IRL, and already knows. We're basically separated right now, and he's not staying here. He comes over every other day or so to see her and on those days, the days he puts her down, she goes right to sleep. Every other night she's doing this refusing to sleep thing. I really believe it has to do with that and it breaks my heart. Anyway, other than that she's still taking two naps a day.
Communication
I love that she's learning to communicate with me. She'll tell me what she wants and sometimes what's wrong. She's doing really good at putting words together!For example the other day she knocked her mouth with the sippy cup (then did it again on purpose), then tells me, "Uh oh, Mommy. da boo da da owie wah wah", which in toddler language means "Ow, Mom. I just busted my lip with this here cup of water." She's saying uh oh a LOT. That's her thing right now. She loves to say, "uh oh, what'd ya do?" which sounds like, "uh oh duh duh doooo?" or sometimes just "uh oh doooo?" She also says "all gone" a lot.And most recently she's asking "what's that"? She tells me what she wants to watch on TV. She'll hand me the remote and be like, Gab Gab (Yo Gabba Gabba), Diego, or she'll sing ba-by, ba-by (for Baby Signing Time).
Eating
She's getting picky! Gone are the days where I can stick anything in front of her and she'll clear her plate. She does NOT like meat. My little vegetarian! Seriously, she will eat all the fruits and vegis from her plate, and feed the meat to the dogs. If she accidently gets meat in her mouth, it will be spit out. Grrr. So she's getting her protein in greek yogurt, beans and cheese. I think this whole no meat thing is making her poop icky. She's been having these big yucky loose poops for a couple months now, and they give her the worst rashes. We'll be talking to the pedi about this. One of her favorite things to snack on are these pouches.
She's down to two sippies of milk a day. She dropped her daytime "bottle", and only has one first thing in the morning and before bed. Approximately 5oz each. She's also getting less picky about what she drinks it out of. Still won't drink it from a straw sippy. Don't blame her. Milk from a straw does not sound good.
Clothing
She's in 18 month clothing still, and growing out of her size 4 shoes. Still in size 4 diapers. Don't have official stats yet. Her appointment is on the 28th. Not the 18th, apparently. I took half that day off work, drove all the way out to Surprise, just to get there and told I'm on the wrong day. And the doctor couldn't get me in. True story.
Sleep
She hasn't been sleeping great lately. Once she's out she's good for the night, but it's been a fight to get her to go to bed the past couple weeks. It goes a little something like this.
* Bedtime routine of dinner, bath, milk, brush teeth, read/watch TV/snuggle.
* 8PM. Bed time. Lay her down.
* She throws a fit. Screams and cries. I try my best to ignore her.
* She gets quiet, so I'm like, yesss! Then I hear Violet talking, so she plays with that for like an hour.
* 9PM she starts crying and screaming again. I go in to check on her and she has thrown her blankie over onto the floor. I give it to her and lay her down, and tell her that we are NOT playing this game and she is to go to sleep. She immediately starts screaming again.
* And this whole throw my blankie and freak out about it thing continues until I give up. I'll go get her and we'll watch TV for a half an hour.
* By this time it's 10PM, and I'm frustrated. She's finally tired enough where she goes to sleep without much of a fight.
I don't know what her deal is. Too busy to sleep? I honestly think she's stressed. There's a lot going on at home right now. The biggest thing being that Husband and I aren't doing very well. I'll just put it out there since mostly everyone who reads this blog knows me IRL, and already knows. We're basically separated right now, and he's not staying here. He comes over every other day or so to see her and on those days, the days he puts her down, she goes right to sleep. Every other night she's doing this refusing to sleep thing. I really believe it has to do with that and it breaks my heart. Anyway, other than that she's still taking two naps a day.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
MOMMY!
Yes, I finally got that title. Mommy! When Cailin first started saying "mama" and "dada", I was just mom. Sometimes mama as well. I have been trying to get her to say "Mommy" ever since her first word. "Cailin, can you say mooommmy? Say Mommy, Princess." And I would always get either dada or mom or mama. I tried not to take it personally. She just can't say it yet (although she could say Daddy. Hmph!).
Recently she has started calling me Mommy. And I LOVE it! Even when she's screaming it from the back seat in the car. "Mommy. Mom-my. MOMMY! MOMMY!!!!" I still love it. Yesterday at a baby shower she was looking for me and she was calling out "Mommy?" And the little high pitched girly voice she says it in is just the cutest.thing.ever. My heart just swells with love. Gah. She is the BEST!
Recently she has started calling me Mommy. And I LOVE it! Even when she's screaming it from the back seat in the car. "Mommy. Mom-my. MOMMY! MOMMY!!!!" I still love it. Yesterday at a baby shower she was looking for me and she was calling out "Mommy?" And the little high pitched girly voice she says it in is just the cutest.thing.ever. My heart just swells with love. Gah. She is the BEST!
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